So I’ve slacked in a big way on this blog since its inception. I’ve been a combination of not-around and lazy when I am around, so my apologies. But today is the first Spa-Day Wednesday!! Ah, how I love this day. I hope you will come to love it, too; Spa-Day Wednesday is all about making space in your life to really relax, as well as how to implement inexpensive versions of fancy spa treatments right at home.
First off, let’s take a moment to talk about a much-ignored concept: how to relax. It seems so fundamental, like human beings should be able to do this naturally, without thinking. The number of “Got Stress?” and sleepy pill ads encountered on a regular basis are one testament that we don’t. Whether we’ve been evolutionarily programmed to always be alert or whether it’s a product of the super-high-paced modern era, the result is the same: pretty much everybody is high-strung from time to time (or, unfortunately, all the time). Here’s a basic recipe for relaxation, focused around your five senses:
1. Get comfy
Ever wonder why most of the day at the spa is spent in a robe (or even less)? It’s difficult to relax when your body feels restricted or weighed-down. Find some clothes that will make you feel at-ease. In general lightweight, breathable materials like cotton are best, and you want your coverings to be loose enough that you can change positions easily (but not so loose that they end up getting caught under you and wrapping you like a mummy). I personally recommend going bottomless in something like an oversized tee shirt or a robe (like the Nick & Nora pictured above, $21.99 + shipping at Amazon.com), but if the very thought makes you shudder, find some shorts or pajama bottoms that work for you. If nothing in your closet or dresser seems appropriate, I strongly advise stopping by DOTS or Ross. I predict you will be flabbergasted by the low prices of the very cute items there. For the extra-adventurous, try going au naturel! It can be extremely liberating to be freed of the clothes that almost always cover us – just make sure you’re home alone or have a good lock on your door to avoid embarrassment!
2. Light right!
One of my favorite birthday gifts from recent years is a conch shell lamp just like the one above. Having grown up near to the Jersey Shore, many of my friends and I have distinct memories of the kitschy fun lining the gift shop shelves. In this vein, my friend Joan sent me this lamp for my 21st birthday and I absolutely love it. The lamp not only reminds one of Mer de mere (Mother Sea), but it gives off a soft pink glow that is absolutely calming. The lamp pictured above is from Shell Horizons, Inc. and costs about $11. If a more modern look is your thing, something like the Grono lamp from Ikea (above, $6.99) might be more your style. What you’re mainly looking for is diffused lighting that isn’t too harsh or direct; setting or rising sunlight through slatted blinds works, too. Or, if you’re trying to get to sleep, consider a weighted eyemask filled with rice or beans to shut out ambient rays.
3. The Sounds of Silence (or White Noise. Or Guided Meditation. Or soft music.)
To ease your weary ears, there’s a whole bevvy of relaxation techniques! Auditory stimuli are extremely influential on human stress and emotion, which is the reason sudden, unnatural, and dissonant sounds are so popular for horror movie soundtracks. Each and every person reacts to sound differently, so it stands to reason that this section is highly variable. That means you may have to do some experimenting to figure out which method works best for you. It also means that as you age, change locations, etc. your preferred soundscape may change. And that’s totally natural! So here’s a breakdown of the items listed above: “Anxiety Relief” is a CD of guided imagery exercises meant to calm your racing thoughts and center your emotional, mental, and physical being. (Available on Amazon.com, $10.85 plus shipping.) Guided meditation programs are also available on iTunes. On the Internet and in bookstores like Barnes & Noble, you can preview these tracks to see if they soothe you, which is a huge plus! Similarly, soft music may help you zone out. Stay away from songs with lyrics, as these can distract you and jolt you out of your relaxed state. There are literally thousands of fabulous classical pieces out there (many are even compiled into specific relaxation CDs and playlists) and most metropolitan areas have classical radio stations. But if you just can’t get into the classical sound, you could try some light jazz or even more ambient, electronic music like that of John Tesh. (I know it may sound corny to you, but like I said, everyone has their own soundscape!) Avoid using headphones (especially earbuds) because you may roll on them during the night, possibly injuring your ear or your equipment. Speakers/stereos make the sound more diffused and can save your hearing.
But if you find that someone speaking or a recurring oboe line leave you twitchy, white noise might be more of your thing. The neat little space-aged gizmo above is the SoundSpa Relaxation Sound Machine by HoMedics. It’s carried by Walgreen’s and costs $24.99; it offers a variety of sounds including ocean, heartbeat, and night rain. But how do you know if white noise works for you without spending twenty-five bucks? Run a small fan in your room or tune in to a radio station that has nothing but static. If you find yourself serenely drifting, white noise is your friend.
Personally, I find it impossible to relax when there’s all kinds of noises surrounding me. This is difficult since I have three cats, a train track behind my house, and a boyfriend who alternately snores and talks in his sleep. My saving grace comes from a little foamy earplug named Mack. Mack’s earplugs ($3.99 at Walgreen’s) are positively brilliant when it comes to shutting out noises of the world! Hold them between your thumb and forefinger, roll them into a little cylinder, and gently place them in your ears. I repeat, GENTLY PLACE THEM IN YOUR EARS, don’t go shoving ‘em in there! The foam expands to the shape of your ear and effectively seals you off from noise. I shudder to think what my world would be like without them.
4. The Nose Knows
Smells are just as influential on human emotion as sounds, if not more so. If a passing stranger’s cologne or perfume has ever stopped you dead in your tracks (maybe because it smells like an ex-lover’s or estranged relative’s) you know exactly what I mean. In fact, you can train your body to react predictably to certain smells, similar to Pavlov’s dogs. If the same smell is present whenever your body is relaxed or sleepy, the presence of that smell can actually evoke those feelings in the future. That’s why keeping one of the two products above near your bedside can be quite beneficial. This particular candle is a calming candle from Target ($10.49) that smells of lavender and mint, two scents proven to calm jangled nerves. Plus, it’s made out of soy-wax, which is a clean burn (great for asthma and allergy sufferers) and lasts longer than traditional paraffin candles. Just make sure you don’t fall asleep with this candle burning, as any burning material is a potential fire hazard. Have an alarm set to remind you to blow it out, or have a loved one make sure it’s out if you plan on going to sleep.
A less-fiery alternative is a room spray or pillow mist, like this one from Bath & Body Works ($10). This particular mist is peppermint-based, to calm and de-stress. (But if you’re trying to spice up your romantic life, a sensual black currant/vanilla blend is also available!) Simply hold the mister six-twelve inches above your pillow/bed, squeeze once, and let the mist settle down to your linens. Give it a minute or two to dry so you don’t get a moist face or hair, then breathe in the soothing scents!
5. A Tasteful Way to Relax
Did the day leave a bad taste in your mouth? Even though it seems menial, an unclean feeling (often caused by plaque buildup) or unpleasant taste could bother you just enough to keep you from relaxing. I can never speak too highly for dental hygiene or proper hydration, and both are relevant in this case. The main reason we brush our teeth before bed is to dislodge and remove food bits, plaque, and tartar that can build up throughout the day. As a result, we feel cleaner, and the routine act of brushing our teeth before slumber everyday since toddlerdom reinforces the fact that our bodies are getting ready to sleep. Therefore, the act of brushing your teeth can be very therapeutic and can actually trick your body into relaxing.
Now I am a huge advocate of adequate hydration, and although I unfortunately don’t always practice what I preach, I never lay down to relax without my handy water on my nightstand. In addition to plaque, bad breath or a bad taste in the mouth can often be the result of dehydration. Take a few swigs before putting on that eyemask or slipping in your earplugs. In the night, if you wake up with a scratchy throat or parched tongue, you won’t have to walk all the way down the hall, get out a glass, run the faucet, and come back to bed – risking waking up not only your body, but other sleeping loved ones along the way. If you are keeping water bedside overnight, consider using a water bottle or mason jar with a lid; throughout the course of the night dead skin and hair cells and other types of dust (collectively known as “Night Germs” by my grandmother and myself) can drift into your glass, making the water unpleasant to drink by morning. You also might want to think about a coaster – especially if you’re using ice – as moisture that collects on the outside of your glass (condensation) can ruin furniture.
So, your five senses are all aligned and you’re ready to relax. So, um…now what do you do? Well, if you’re listening to guided meditation just follow your guide’s instructions. But if you’re all by your lonesome, here are a few additional things to keep in mind:
1. Good Posture: not just for your waking hours!
The way you’re laying actually might be impeding your ability to comfortably calm down. Many people tend to sleep in uneven positions, kicking one leg over the rest of the body or winding up in other various contortions. It’s important to keep your body as level as possible in all things you do: it can save your back, shoulders, knees, hips, etc. a lot of aches and pains.
When lying on your back, Keep your shoulders relaxed by putting your arms to your sides or folding your hands on your stomach. Putting your hands behind your head can actually strain the neck and shoulders, and reduce bloodflow to the arms and hands which can become quite uncomfortable. Keep your legs out straight and your feet hip-width apart. This way, gravity isn’t pulling on any one area more than any other and your muscles experience less strain.
If you’re a side-sleeper, keep a small pillow tucked between your knees so they’re still hip-width apart. Although your feet will still be touching, keeping your knees separated will relieve pressure to the spine, which will provide relief in both your sleeping and waking hours.
If you are most at-ease on your belly, you have some challenges to face. When laying on your stomach, the spine actually arches downward in sort of a U curve from your neck to your lower back. This places a lot of stress on the spine. According to Dr. Daniel DeReuter, you want your hips to be up higher than your head/neck/shoulders, so the spine stays as straight as possible. This means placing a pillow under your waist and no pillow under your head (or at least a smaller pillow than the one under your waist). Yes, you will be sleeping with your butt up in the air. But hey, you’re the one who insisted this was the best way to sleep, not me! (Just kidding. Tummy-sleeping can be comfy sometimes, as long as you’re doing it properly!)
Or maybe laying down doesn’t do it for you at all. If you find sitting more relaxing, try sitting with crossed legs while keeping your back nice and straight. Rest your hands/arms on your knees. Or, sit in a cozy chair with your spine straight and your legs hip-width apart. You can lean back in the chair, just don’t slouch!
2. The Best Possible Laying surface
As I’ve mentioned several times in this blog, everybody’s body is different. That’s why you have to try different surfaces to find out what feels best for you. Some enjoy the super-soft down of a pillow-top mattress. Some people prefer a yoga mat on a hardwood floor. Try laying on different surfaces to see what works.
3. Breathe Mindfully
If you’ve never really tried deep-breathing before, I suggest starting on your back in the aforementioned position. This way, you can watch your abdomen, which should be rising and falling with each breath, as opposed to your chest. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four (if you have an analog clock or metronome these can help you keep a slow, steady count, as can music). Hold for 2-4 seconds, then release the breath through pursed lips for another 4-count. Repeat, concentrating on the breathing and the counting. If you start to drift off on a train of thought, don’t sweat it – just return to the breathing and the counting rhythm.
4. Muscle Relaxer: Not Metaxalone!
Once you’ve got the breathing down, you can work on easing muscle tension with this simple exercise. Starting at your toes, concentrate on contracting or flexing each muscle (or group of muscles if that’s easier) and then let relax it. Do this two or three times and move up to the next muscle. Repeat, working all the way up to your face muscles. Your body should feel much looser. Now think about your body getting really heavy and sinking through the floor (or bed, or sofa, etc.). This should really relax your muscles and help refresh you.
Now that you’ve read my longest post ever, you must be feeling pretty wiped. I know I am. I think I’ll go put some of these relaxation techniques to good use! Hopefully I’ll see you back here for Fitness Friday! (Ways to get a little active and/or eat a little healthy!)
